MY previous post, inspired by the podcast of Lewis Howes, a former successful American footballer, listed my first five truths – truths I have discovered in my lifetime.
Here are my next five, in no particular order of importance.
6. Happiness is between the ears. This is a close relation to No. 4 and No. 5. In western culture we’ve been taught, conditioned and raised to seek happiness externally. I used to think that if I lived in constant sunshine (I’m a summer person) and in stunning surroundings and by the ocean and without the pressures of a stressful job and no mortgage and in a comfortable home with space, I’d be blissfully happy. I tried that. It didn’t work. If my thoughts are scrambled and unsettled that is what I will feel irrespective of what I’m doing, where I am and how much money I may have in the bank. Make it a priority to manage and train your thoughts. Hard as it may be, routinely weed the garden in your mind. If you don’t, the weeds take over. When your mind is at peace – really at peace – then your relationships, location, wealth and vocation can enhance your happiness, not the other way around.
7. Too much stress is our greatest enemy. It’s interesting that we focus our attention on all other areas of life, but spend so little time combating stress or forming effective strategies to deal with it. We can be perfectly healthy and strong and fit in our bodies and eat the optimum diet, but it won’t protect you if you are exposed to frequent doses of high stress. Nothing, in my opinion, is more damaging to the human body and psyche than continual stress and worry.
8. Good quality sleep is crucial. There used to be a time, when I was younger, when getting by on little sleep earned you bragging rights. Now I think back and see it as nonsensical, like a lot of things I/we do/did in our youth – until we know better. Sleep is so vital on so many levels. It’s what allows us to grow, recover, repair and function optimally. My sleep suffered after I became a father. I used to be able to sleep anytime, anywhere. But not anymore and that’s frustrating. Losing sleep can strip years off your life and reduce dramatically the quality of your days and ability to function at your best. Thankfully, there are many ways to improve it. If you’re also working out a lot or hard, you need at least eight hours per night.
9. Multi-tasking is overrated. I know there’s a bit of a gender joke here about how women can and men can’t and some will argue that I, as a man, have included this to fight the corner of my male brothers. I can multi-task, but let’s just say I prefer not to. As soon as you split yourself between multiple tasks the quality of the effort and focus diminishes and, more often than not, so will the end product. I much prefer to concentrate on one thing at a time and give it my best shot. Quality over quantity every time for me, though it doesn’t stop me from admiring those who can spin plates on their head, hands and legs while riding a unicycle, playing a flute and meditating!
10. Our actions are determined by our beliefs. This is what makes it so hard for us to allow change to happen: we are so entrenched in our beliefs. And we so often believe what people tell us is true without questioning. I’ve tried to keep a more open and flexible mind as I have grown older, which means that some or all of these 10 truths could change in time. But I know I’m stubbornly holding on to other beliefs that probably don’t serve me well. There’s nothing wrong with changing your mind. However, the longer we believe something the harder it can be to shift our mindset. I’ll leave you with this quote from Muhammad Ali: “A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”