ONE of my favourite podcasters is Lewis Howes (pictured), a former professional American Footballer who has gone on to become a big media success after his sporting career was cut short through injury.
He has a podcast called ‘The School of Greatness‘, where he interviews successful people and extracts from them secrets to being leaders and achievers in their chosen fields. I’ve become an avid listener because it’s informative and inspiring.
At the end of his podcast interviews, Howes usually asks his guests a question: what three truths have you learned from life that you would pass on if it were your final message?
It’s a thought-provoking question and one I’ve pondered every time I hear him ask it.
I tried narrowing it down to three, but 10 came to me straight off the bat and there could – and probably are – more I just haven’t thought about. Here are my first five most obvious truths (and I reserve the right to change these as I grow older and wiser!) Part two to follow…
1. We always have a choice. In other words, take responsibility. It’s easy to blame others when things don’t go how we want them to. But the reality is that no matter the outcome, good or bad, we play our part. Somewhere, somehow, we make a choice, consciously or unconsciously, that puts us in the position we find ourselves in. And even if we don’t think we have a choice in what happens, realise we always have a choice in how we react.
2. ANYTHING is possible (within reason) if you believe it and don’t give up on it. Ask yourself this question: how many things have you achieved in life that at one time you would have considered impossible? To make it happen, firstly, you have to believe in the dream and then, secondly, you have to give yourself the best possible chance. In my case there are dozens – probably more – of examples where I achieved the seemingly improbable. I think back to how, without any journalistic qualifications, I became editor of Boxing News in what seems a lifetime ago. It was a job that as an early teenager I literally dreamed about having. The odds seemed stacked against me, yet it happened. The only conclusion I can reach to explain why I got the job is that I wanted it so badly and for so long that the hands of fate turned in my favour. However, it wouldn’t have been enough for me to dream about it, but then stay at home and wish for a call to come my way offering me the position. I had to put myself about, make the right contacts, develop the right skills, remain focused and keep pushing until the opportunity became available and I was the obvious choice for whoever had the final decision on filling the vacancy. Passion, desire, drive, determination count for so much. You can’t beat the man or woman who refuses to quit or give up and, remember, you are only limited by your thoughts. I eventually gave up that job, a secure one of over 20 years, to travel the world with my wife and children when people said I was insane for trying, that it couldn’t be sustained and I’d never again find a job I enjoyed. I was told it was too risky. Yet we still made it happen and lasted 4 1/2 years on the road. Does is make me special? Not at all, because I think almost anyone could do it. All I did was dare to challenge the conventional thinking that holds us back and took the steps required to achieve the goal.
3. Health is really all you have. Thankfully, I discovered this early in life. It not only saved me a lot of money and time that would otherwise have been spent on alcohol and tobacco and who knows what else, but has enabled me to live a life free of medication and sickness. Today, we live in a fast-paced culture where we demand and expect instant gratification. We seem to have really lost touch with a sense of what is real, important and valuable. We have so many material desires, but what do they, our futures and the quality of our relationships mean without the full health to enjoy it? I have young children. Not only do I want to be around to see them grow up, I also want to be able to fully engage and play with them, regardless of age. I want to help them to appreciate the importance of staying healthy. I also don’t want to become a burden to anyone. So I’ve always made my health a priority. It may sound selfish or even obsessive, but I believe the opposite to be true: the more functional and healthy I am, the more I can offer to everyone and everything in my life.
4. Fear isn’t real. Now I bet you’ve heard this before. It still doesn’t stop me from feeling a sense of fear or anxiety. But it does help me to deal with it. Fear always appears real when we don’t confront it. But when you do, more often than not you discover it’s a mental fabrication and an exaggeration of our imagination. It’s not the situations or circumstance we face that are scary, but more the thoughts we have about and around them. I like the acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. I stopped reading newspapers and watching the news many years ago because I didn’t want my head filled with negative images and messages. Too much of that can leave you paralysed, deflated, paranoid and terrified. I chose to filter as best I could what my mind could be exposed to. So now I try to feed myself positive messages. I listen to podcasts instead of the news, read books instead of newspapers and am selective if I switch on the TV. I’m still a work in progress (and always will be).
5. Freedom is in the mind. Let me explain where I am with this one. We supposedly live in a ‘free’ society where we have the freedom of speech etc. But we are not truly free until we can be ourselves, accept ourselves as we are and exist without concern about being judged or how others will react to our actions, words, emotions and beliefs. My definition of genuine freedom: to act with integrity, transparency, honesty and fearlessness. A wise man once said to me: “Whenever you are worried what people think, you are owned by them.”
My next 5 truths to follow…