THE Amazing 12 Chichester is now at the halfway stage for Jemma and Jade, whereas Catriona and Reg have come to the end of their eight-week version.
This weekend, when they have their photos taken, I’ll see, visually at least, how much progress Catriona and Reg have made. It’s already quite apparent, though.
A few moments stuck out for me this week during training at Core Results Gym. One was when Catriona deadlifted 65kg for multiple reps and sets with good form and stayed strong throughout. She weighs only 51kg (having lost 4kgs since beginning the program – that’s the lightest she can remember being).
But considering she had zero lifting experience when she started and a few weeks back had struggled with a weight that was significantly lighter, it was quite a proud moment to see that sort of progress.
The second was during a warm-up when I had Reg push the prowler. Instead, though, he started jogging with it. So to have seen Reg go from a hobble to struggling to crawl to walking quickly to a light run was quite a staggering transition given that at a starting weight of 25st-plus, he had issues with his knees and heel that caused him to miss a few sessions.
Those were the highs. But there were some lows. This week more than any other I noticed the level of complaining reach a new level.
Complaining is nothing new to a gym environment or my waves of the Amazing 12 Chichester for that matter. This program isn’t exactly a walk in the park – and it can’t be to get the results that are achieved. I’m used to listening to grumbling.
It’s also quite a British thing to moan, especially about the weather and traffic and whatever else.
But it made me think about how self-defeating complaining really is.
I understand some people complain to let off steam or to deal with fear or to get attention or without even realising how much they do it. But I can only reach one conclusion.
Complaining is simply a waste of energy.
Here is my question: how does complaining enable or help you to become the best version of yourself?
I hope that if you try to answer it sincerely, it stops you in your tracks and makes you take stock of how pointless complaining is. At the very least it should make you assess for a moment how much you might be complaining about things and how much you are selling yourself short by doing so.
When I look at successful people or high-achievers or people we generally aspire to be like, I don’t see complainers. I see doers. I see people who take action. I see people who are effective and, more importantly, decisive at making changes.
I see people who get on with things. I see individuals who refuse to join in the drama and are focused on what they want to achieve. I see people who use their energy to inspire, motivate and encourage rather than blame or complain. I see people who find solutions rather than moan about the problems.
Most importantly, I see people who have the antidote to complaining: gratitude.
That’s to say that if you complain, you generally see things negatively and if you are grateful, you see things positively.
This isn’t something you are born with. This is learned and practiced behaviour, which means it can be reversed or changed – if you want it to be.
However, I still catch myself complaining. We all complain. But the degree to which we complain and the time we spend complaining is significant and varies.
The key to my statement is that I ‘catch myself’ complaining, meaning I realise it’s something I do from time to time almost unconsciously or habitually. But I’d rather not and I try not to.
Some of us, though, are chronic complainers. You don’t have to be Stephen Hawking to figure out that if you complain a lot you can’t be very satisfied.
If you’re not satisfied, it’s not the complaining that will change your circumstances. It’s taking action that makes the difference.
A friend of mine and former British boxing champion from the 1980s, Gary De’Roux, once said to me when I was complaining to him about something during conversation many years ago, “don’t complain. Do something about it.”
His words packed a punch. Gary’s a no-nonsense sort of guy. Sounding off doesn’t do anything but produce hot air. Your situation remains the same and you run the risk of creating negative energy around you.
On a neurological level, though, there’s good reason to take complaining seriously. There’s a direct link between complaining and negativity. And there’s a strong connection between negativity and depression as there is between negativity and worry and, consequently, stress.
Stress affects all aspects of our health and well-being. In its most negative form, it is draining and weakening and life-threatening. Stress also raises our cortisol levels, which makes it harder for us to sleep soundly. This, amongst other things, limits our ability to grow and recover. It can also lead to weight and fat gain.
Yet research shows that most people complain at least once every minute during a typical conversation.
Complaining, though, can feel good to some of us, because sometimes you feel as if you are sharing an experience that’s bothering you and getting a worry off your chest. But every time you complain, you wire your brain to do more complaining.
Studies out of Stanford University in America have shown that complaining shrinks the part of the brain responsible for intelligence and problem-solving. This is the same part of the brain that deteriorates in patients who have Alzheimer’s.
In my world of training people to get stronger and fitter and move better, I hear complaints all the time that range from “do we have to?” to “I can’t do that” to “this hurts” to “that’s too hard” to “I’m bored with this food” to “can’t we do this instead?” etc. The list is endless.
Complaining is a disease as well as a form of resistance – not accepting things as they are. Resistance is going against the flow of life and thus makes what you may be complaining about even worse.
Let’s not confuse complaining with speaking out. One is negative and the other positive. As author Eckhart Tolle wrote, “When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power.”
Getting and achieving results more often than not doesn’t involve a process that is enjoyable or easy. You have to make a sacrifice. But you can either fight it or accept and get on with it or find a solution. I know which options make the most sense.
Essentially, complaining is wasting valuable time. As Randy Pausch wrote in The Last Lecture, “if you took one tenth of the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you’d be surprised how well things can work out.”
However, if you are locked into a pattern of complaining, you’re going to have to work hard to change it.
Training the body is a process of change through repetition and adaptation. So when we complain there’s a process of practice and repetition taking place in our brains. We’re hard-wiring ourselves to get better…at complaining!
Complaining, from my experience, weakens my attitude, makes my thinking more fragile and leaves me more likely to fail in a given task. It takes away any pleasure, too.
As they say, “Complaining is a zero return investment.”
If you are aware you complain a lot and don’t mindfully try to fix it, you’ll simply get better at it and the issues or problems taxing you will remain or escalate. However, if you are aware you complain and want to change, you can try to tackle it the same way you would if your aim was to change your fitness levels or lose weight or gain weight or get stronger.
You show up every day with the intention and commitment to do better than the day before. And like learning any new skill, initially, you have to think hard about and work hard at it – until it becomes your default response.
Complaining is verbalising a negative thought. Your thoughts determine your actions. It’s impossible to think negatively, act negatively and yet produce positivity.
Here’s the challenge.
- Each time you complain, catch yourself and try to either think of a positive alternative or solution instead.
- Don’t beat yourself up if you struggle or else you’ll just be complaining again. It’s a process and will take time.
- Try going 24 hours without complaining and see what happens.
The Amazing 12 Chichester isn’t just about the physical. Often our bodies are an expression of what and how we are thinking. So to make a complete transformation and get the optimum results, we sometimes have to start with the mind and our attitude.
We can only be as strong as our weakest link and often that is in the way we are thinking.
Progress requires patience, time, effort and consistency. Complaining just means you don’t enjoy the experience.
Think you have what it takes to do the Amazing 12 Chichester like Catriona, Reg, Jade and Jemma? Catriona is continuing for another two weeks before she goes on holiday and Reg is going to do the same before he takes a summer break and then embarks on another round of the program in September.
I’m taking applications for the September wave that begins on the 18th and ends in mid-December. Contact me at Claude@intelligentstrength.co.uk for more details or if you have any questions.